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DoRi_dOrI
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Name: Doris
Birthday: 9/9/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: I write in here because sometimes life, people and stupidity just stress me out lol.
Message: message me
Member Since:
5/5/2003
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| 'It is better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than to lose that someone you love with your useless pride.'
"The only reason people settle is because they believe they don't deserve any better." says Dr. Phil. hum..
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I hate to be all philosophical over nothing but what is it supposed to mean? I know nothing happens without a reason. Nothing is by 'coincidence' or so that is what I've been raised believing my whole life. God doesn't merely leave anything to 'chances'. Speaking of chances. What if were supposed to take certain opportunities and risks? What am I so afraid of? A lot. I wish I could just say "I don't want to risk our friendship", I wish it was that simple. Except it's not. What I'm afraid of is beyond or nowhere near that. That in addition to my own insecurities which keep me from being open and loving.
Dear God,
I wish to be confident in the person you made me. I wish to feel beautiful at all times like a pretty, pretty flower. So that my beauty and strength can overpower those around me and reflect Your beauty. So that I can finally understand the freedom You have given me, given all of us. I wish to not feel trapped in my body but to feel special, in a good way for making me, me. I also pray that You will guide me in the right direction because I don't think I'm being over philosophical about this whole thing. Something in my gut tells me this isn't going to go away easily. Please show me what I should do, because I am very, very confused. My heart and mind are rather confused. I don't know which I'm supposed to side with. Reality or dream. How to pick?
Dear You,
Why?
Always,
doris
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| December homecomings:
13- Andy oppa
17- Eunice
18- Will
23- Jee
26- Jane
I'm so so so excited for the latter half of this months. I had a bad week. It was one of those weeks. I slept Monday-Wednesday ate 3 meals total and skipped school. I won't get into any more details I'm 정신차려ed now. After tomorrow no more. I'm gonna own finals and own the last week of school. I have to do this to make up for my being absent one year ago and being sick. I am alive and healthy, I should thank God and stop bitching about my life. I just can't wait for all these people to be home!~ I'm going to set up the tree this weekend, and I'm going to put lights in my room.. (if I have any open power outlets left lol). I want to buy Christmas gifts for everyone but I think I'm just going to get my family something...so broke and bad economy. We'll see. I'm just so glad I'm in my own room right now .... and that I got to celebrate Thanksgiving with people I love, and not in the hospital. One year ago seems so far away but it just seems like yesterday in my head. One year ago I just wanted to give up on my life. One year ago I learned there's no one but my mom. One year ago I briefly thought I was in love. One year ago I was on a million medications. I don't want to be there again so I don't know why I isolate myself. No more no more. Just keep me warm and sick-free God I promise I'll ace my finals and be a good daughter, friend and person.
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| i was driving home from school today, and on the corner of 356th & pac hwy, the car in front of me had a bumper sticker that read:"Those who say it cannot be done shouldn't interrupt the people doing it."
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| I had a hard time being thankful this year. For many different dumb reasons of selfishness and whatnot. But I tried to be thankful. And I will continue to try. Let's verbally type out what I am thankful for.
-my ability to sit at one spot and study for 8 straight hours without moving (once I get in the zone, I am IN the zone..lol it's just it takes me like 5 hours to get in the zone..)
-financial aid and scholarships
-for my passions
-my mother whose thanks i could never ever put into words even if my life depended on it. no one but my mom.
-my brother. thank you for: taking down the shower thing, scooping me rice, carrying my heavy loads, putting in the gas for my car, doing my debit card thing or atm machine etc and everything small that no one else can even imagine that you do for me aaron.
-i guess my dad. no i kid, my dad too even though i hate his guts right now.
-for children's clothes and fashion being so trendy lately. i mean its kinda disturbing for kids..but great for me so i aint complainin
-although it results in people thinking i'm a 5 year old, for my body being small but proportionate. easier to find clothes. (except for my belly haha)
-for my love of art
-for music
-for my opportunities
-food
-our beautiful house, my wonderful bedroom, my book collection
-my tiny netbook
-for friends who walk slow with me literally, @ my slow ass pace and stick by me even though i'm psycho and emotionally unstable
-for my car and pedal extensions and being TICKET-FREE!
-for allowing me to have learned piano and trumpet
-for showing me <3... i guess i just need to wait for the right person..
-thank you God, for saving me...or i wouldn't be a sane functioning human being
-and for my warm cozy bed...
ciao~
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